Flatulence labels proposed for packaged food

We have known for some time that methane in the atmosphere has a larger greenhouse effect per unit of volume than carbon dioxide – and emissions are increasing faster. Cow burps, which are rich in methane, are alone responsible for 4% of greenhouse gases; such a problem that a digestive aid has been developed to address it.

Scientists on Friday published findings in Nature showing that human flatulence is an equally significant problem. Taking population growth and diet changes into consideration, methane from British farts could account for up to 15% of the country’s greenhouse gas emissions by 2020, seriously throwing into question targets in the draft Climate Change bill.

The Carbon Trust was upbeat about the issue. “Of course this has added some extra beans into the stew”, said a spokesperson this morning. “But just as people are becoming more aware of emissions from their food’s supply chain, we believe that they will take responsibility for their downstream emissions”. The Carbon Trust has already developed plans for labels indicating how much you are likely to fart as a result of eating packaged food. “Consumers will be able to make informed choices about the holistic ecological impact of their eating habits”.

H.J. Heinz shares closed down 6% and the lentil industry is bracing itself for trading tomorrow.